i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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