I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
