Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
