Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
