we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize