so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
