So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize