Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize