What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
cat food counts as protein by the way
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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