I think I won the penis lottery.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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