Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
