i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
