the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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