I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Randomize