I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
COCAINE IS GR8
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
