so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
