Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
