This girl is more easily done than said...
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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