im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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