I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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