The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
