He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
