i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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