the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
