He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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