If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
