When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
