you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
