I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
