There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
you made out with another girl for some wings
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
