But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
