I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Pooping to opera.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
