Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
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