YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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