just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Even my vagina gasped.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
