we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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