i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
