He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
