Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
how does that bad decision feel?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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