As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
