So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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