Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
