That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
