god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You're a waste of cheezeits
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
