So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
