I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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