We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize