why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
