I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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