Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
