Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
