it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
