So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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