That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
