She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
