yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
