im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
