No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize