The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
