And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
