That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize