Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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