Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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