I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
