dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
