I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Houston, we have a squirter
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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