dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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