I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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