Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
