Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
